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Tito Wyngard

As we approached the ICU my tita frantically approached us.

"Gusto mo ba siyang makita, pumasok ka na, sumabay ka kay tita mo." I later on realized that ate and shoti decided to join me anyway. We were led to ICU and was showed to his room. There in his room are familiar faces, his sisters, son, nephew and cousins. They were all surrounding him, silently crying and praying. Outside was the same, family and friends gathered, praying, talking happy memories about him and making phone calls quietly giving updates.

His hands looked so familiar especially when i touched it. I knew it was a hand of a family.

I held his hand, my other one on top of my chest. I can feel my hand pounding so fast. We rushed to the hospital that night, tita told us that they are just waiting for him to pass.

When i touched his forehand, there was this cold sheet between it and my palm. Maybe I was scared that we could lose him anytime.

Slowly, I felt his forehand become warm and I said my prayer and talked to him. I thank him for being so generous to us all. I hope that he was happy and prepared as his time slowly comes.

We left the room to give chance to other friends and family who wanted to see him - there were a lot.

As we wait outside, people never cease to come and probably say their last good byes. He made this wish that if he dies, that he be cremated immediately and throw a party after. No wake, no viewing of hi body.

As the dawn came, people started to go home with a promise to come again later that day. When all that is left are mostly his immediate family, he silently pass in peace. It was 3:45am, November 16.

Although I didnt get to know you that well and that long enough, I feel this great sense of loss for a family member. I witnessed your generosity, your sincerity and personality uniquely of your own. You will be missed. Above all, i sincerely hope you have found peace together with the Lord. It will surely be a happy reunion with your father, abwa, your kuya, tito Rene, Tiya Irene and Tiya Meding. Naiimagine ko na yung kwentuhan niyo. :)

Rest in peace.

God's plan is always better than ours

I will be on my 6th with my work on november 20. I must say that a lot has changed. I am happier and less miserable. I think i have adjusted.

It still get frustrated when I cannot fully provide especially for my parents. It saddens me.

I have been wanting to think things through and start paving my way towards my fulfillment. I want to do things that gives me joy, like cooking, teaching and just having time for myself and my family.

I hope to do that real soon.

be positive

I have gone through my older posts and realized that, until today, I am fussing about the same old things. Money, career growth, my hopes and dreams for the future.

Recently i have been being miserable as to how things are turning, but hey, i am still dealing with the same problems so I think okay lang.

I pray that things turn out for the better. I am grateful for the things I am learning but I really hope i will be happy soon. I pray for all our needs that they may be provided. That my family will always be well. That we will always be happy despite of the challenges.


The Mystical House of Jim Thompson

After our trip to Bangkok in 2008, I have always wanted to go back.

I loved their food, transportation and cheap finds in MBK. Apart from that I have always wanted to revisit Jim Thompson's house.

I had this magical feel in Jim Thompson's house - i don't know why. But I felt I was in somebody's house in the province where I have to behave or else "mababati" ako. Yung ganoong feeling?

Or maybe what ate told me about him how he left for Malaysia, took an afternoon and stroll and was never found. Baka dahil doon parang natakot na there's something about his house and all.

I am writing this post also to remind me someday, when I am able to build my own house, to incorporate some of his house's designs.

Who is Jim Thompson?

(As I vaguely remember from the tour guide and the help from www.thejimthompsonhouse.com ) He was an architect and later on volunteered to be part of the US army in the 40s. He went to Italy, Asia and France. However, when he went to Bangkok the war has ended.


To make the story short, he stayed in Bangkok and he revived the Thai silk industry which gained him worldwide recognition.


In the house, the guide showed us a paper with dates written on it. According to her, Jim approached a monk and asked for an auspicious date as to when he would build his house.  Then the monk gave him a second date, saying that date is unlucky for him and that he should be careful.


In 1967, Jim Thompson went to Malaysia and said to have stayed in Cameron Highlands with his friends. One afternoon he went out for a stroll and since then was never found.

Unfortunately, guests aren't allowed to take photos of the interior of the house, but you can take photos of his lush garden.

JIm Thompson's house is built from teak and was completed in 1959. It has stilts as the water sometimes rises due to typhoons, plus the house is also facing a canal. The guide says that boats were then a common mode of transporation.

With my sister at the gate. After this you'd walk a bit and then enter actual complex where the house is built and a charming store where you can buy Jim Thompson products such as silk, bags, toys, postcards, etc.

You are greeted with lots of orchids and big vases of lotus flowers.

The counter on the right is where you buy tickets for the tour. On the left is the cafe. The ticket was not more than 200 baht and there was a discount if you're not older than 23 years old if remember correctly.

Waiting for our turn on the tour. Behind me was sort of like a bookstore i think. Basta I remember seeing postcards. I like their garden furnitures.

The tour starts in the garden, then you are led to the guests house, then to the main house, In the main house, there's this area where you leave your shoes and your valuables in the locker. Cameras and video cams are not allowed during the tour inside the house. But you can take photos of the exterior of the house after the tour.

The lush garden leading to the guest house.

(to be continued...)


Visita Iglesia 2010

It has been customary that we do our visita iglesia on Holy Thursday.

We visited 14 churches. My sister tried to be creative and suggested some churches that we haven't visited before on this occasion. I think the new additions are Quiapo church and Malate church. I recall going to Malate church before during my earlier visita iglesia, but that was like really long ago. I think I was still in college then. My sister wanted to go to Our Lady of Guadalupe church but we weren't too confident where it is located. Maybe next year.

I told my sister to be discreet in taking pictures. Actually I don't like the idea of taking pictures and my picture being taken, because this might ruin the solemnity of the trip. Plus the hassle of stopping every now and then until the she is satisfied with her shot. I told her to take the photos from the car window and name her photo collection, Taken from A Far - so near yet so far. haha 

She pursued her picture-taking and luckily didn't find it too troublesome. She mostly shot the facade and altar of the churches. She had like maximum of 4 shots for each church, with no flash plus she was just using a point-and-shoot digicam.  She and my cousins went crazy in UST. Two of my cousins are studying in UST and my aunt was from there too. Apart from that, Ate's picture taking was low key, which is good.

Here are the churches we visisted. 

Our Lady of Gace

Our Lady Of Lourdes (This is the National shrine here in the Philippines)

Sto. Domingo

UST chapel

Quiapo Church

San Sebastian

St Jude

San Beda

Manila Cathedral

San Agustin

Malate Church

Shrine of Jesus

EDSA Shrine

St. Clair

We got home at around 12 midnight. It took us a bit longer in UST due to the photoshoot and the other van's wheel was busted in between our 1st and 2nd church.

But it was all good. My cousins are getting older now, most of them are in uni already. Hopefully next year, we'll have new faces in this trip - caca and tom. :)

buhay (life) na buhay (alive)

Kailan pa ba ang pinakamagandang pagkakataong sumulat uli, magumpisa, kundi ngayon Pasko ng Pagkabuhay.

Nitong nakalipas na Semana Santa, sinigurado kong makadalo sa mga recollections na hinanda ng aming parokya noong Holy Wednesday and Thursday.

Paghilom at pakikipagkasundo (healing and reconciliation) ang naging tema ng recollection nung Holy Wednesday na pinangunahan ni Bishop Ambo David ng Diocese ng Pampanga.

Marami daw buhay (alive)na patay (dead). Buhay (alive), pero patay dahil walang layunin, walang direksyon, walang kahulugan. Tulad ng isang taong nagiigib na walang dalang sisidlan. Inigib tubig na walang kahuhulugan, walang paglalagyan.

Sa buhay, mainam na tayo ay may layunin di lang para sa ating sarili, kundi para sa kabutihan ng ating kapwa. Sabi nga, sa mundong ito ang lahat ay lilipas, mga mahal sa buhay, materyal na bagay...

Ngunit, may tatlong bagay na mananatili. Pagasa, pananampalataya, at pagibig. (Hope, faith and love)



I am looking forward to a lot of things. Hoping to hear from the people I have been waiting to contact me. Trying so hard to be optimistic and productive with my work. Pushing back thoughts on money that I think I will not have very soon. Racing my thoughts to finally come up with a concrete game plan for next year.

There are times I want to fast forward things just to see how I end up. But yeah, I need to be patient. So for now I will wait.


Recap on last week:

Friday night, went out with friends from work to see New Moon. Wasnt disappointed that much, since I didnt expect much from them. Actually, I expect improvement. With Dakota Fanning, a new director, better casts and all, I thought that this time, they would go the whole 9 yards. But I was wrong. There were parts in the movie that I have seen before, not in other big movies but in school - on films made by my classmates.

I totally didnt get her screaming-while-sleeping part - she was having nightmares pala. Dont blame me for not reading the book. If it was really good (the acting or the film), then I could've gotten it. Like the Richard-KC movie (yeah, i watched it, sa sine pa haha). We were late so we didnt see like the first 5 mins. We started on the part when they were stranded on an island. They were telling stories of themselves and the whole time I thought KC was portraying to be a yuppy, middle class girl. Parang hotel staff kunwari since she's been wanting to go back daw sa hotel. Fast forward, she was playing a poor, supermarket employee pala. Sorry, message sending failed.

So, fine she was having nightmares, I asked what was she dreaming about. Was it the wolves that she is seeing? A premonition? What?? The answer, the nightmare was the day when she was left by Edward. Okay. I didnt see that much pain on the actual day she was being dumped.

I dont know what irritates me more, the acting, the film or the book. I think all of them. Sometimes I blame media for hyping this so much when it wasnt really that good! I know deep down, we all know that it wasnt good. But we just keep making excuses why it turned out so lousy. This actually made to my Gretchen list - something/someone that I love to hate. Oh well, I went for my friends anyway, so it's all good.

Saturday and Sunday was pretty much the same. Ended up tidying the house which is good. Went to church, which is very good. Watched a lot of TV and took naps in almost every corner of our house.

I'm still here...

I am happy, yet discontended, that I am still here. Stuck in my situation.

- Yep, still here. Tried to resolve some conflict between myself and a boss - who is apparently avoiding to face this conflict. Oh well, at least I have said everything that I wanted to say. I just want to work please, no dramas. It seems that the boss is responding though. The boss called recently and there seems to be some positive changes in the boss' tone. Hopefully this keeps up.

- Yep, none has been executed yet. Go overseas and work or get my post graduate degree. I am leaning towards schooling though. Met up with 2 friends recently, the other is on her 2nd year of MBA. Wow, how about that! Kakainggit. She was very positive telling me that I could pass the entrance exam; and that it would be easier as soon as I get myself into the program. I hope so too.

- That bank account I was trying to open is still a plan. It will materialized by the end of the month whether I like it or not.

That's mostly what's bothering me. My family is okay, which is good. I just pray that no one gets sick or something. That really gets me down. :(

 I pray that I continued to be strengthened. That I remain faithful.


My Daily Bread

There will be some changes in this blog, or I might just create a new one for my new purpose.

Naturally I would pray in the morning, on my way to work. I usually pray on the bus, LRT or MRT. For the past months, I have been unable to pray especially when I am running late. Sometimes I am more enticed in listening to FM or MP3 rather than praying which makes me guilty. At times I would even bargain with God, asking him to give me a seat on the train so I can pray. And when I do get a seat, I would make a quick pray then listen to music throughout the entire trip. I feel like I am cheating.


Yesterday, while at mass, I was thinking on how else I could be more prayerful and reflective – it really does wonders in my decision-making. Then, I had this idea. I would like to believe God whispered this to me. Everyday, I will have the Our Daily Bread devotional as guide and reflect on that day’s passage. This will allow me to pray at the same time let me write, which is one the things I love to do.


I hope that through this, I am able to pray, at the same time inspire other people through my reflections and encourage them to pray as well.       




 You shall teach them diligently to your children . . . when you sit in your house, when you   walk by the way. —Deuteronomy 6:7

I used to hate Sunday’s. I didn’t like going to church.


Whenever I realize then that we had to go to church, I would pretend to be sick; or spend too much time pretending I need to go number 2 so we would be late and hope that they would finally give up on the idea. My mother never gave up on me. She would always bring me to church even though she knew how much of a handful I would be. She would first promise us with treats like balloons or ice cream after church; or a visit to my grandparents who live next town and when all else fails, she would resolve to threatening us of “gaba” or bad karma for refusing to go to church. That always worked.


I didn’t like hearing mass then because it didn’t make sense. It was usually hot and dusty. The church was built along highway and the roads weren’t concrete then. It was very rare that we chance upon balloon vendors and sorbetero – remember why seldom believe Nanay’s first offer?


Nanay continued on bringing us to church, having novenas in our house, joining block rosary and prayer meetings, going to pilgrimage and having her own prayer time. When she was requested to make clothes for the poon, she would gladly help. I could say that Nanay was religious, but she wasn’t pushy or discriminating with her faith. She did it with love, faith and so much enthusiasm.  

But it wasn’t all just prayer for Nanay. She did good deeds in ways that she can. She taught catechism in nearby public schools. I saw her eagerness in making her classes as fun and educational as she possibly could. She was a bit frustrated as to much student was cramped up in that small room. She brought biblical story books, radio and audio tapes to make her class more effective. She also help the needy and reminds us be generous with them. “We have work and all, still there are times we could hardly eat. How much more this people?” she would tell us.


Later on I realize, I was joining the novenas at home, asking for her latest purchase of prayer and inspirational books, as well as having my alone time with God. With my small ways, I try to help our church and community, just like what Nanay does. My faith blossomed with much willingness and eagerness because of happiness that I have seen in Nanay. I wanted to have that happiness and peace that’s why I followed her ways. There may be challenges along the way, but I know that God is always there for us.


I can say that Nanay was successful in imparting us faith in being the good example that she is. I hope that I would be as inspiring as she is. 

I am grateful

First of, I would like to count my blessings and they are as follows:

- That may back pay covered my loan from Bank A and half of Bank B. I hope to pay the rest of my loan from Bank B within the year.
- That I will be going to EDSA Shang to be awarded with our Service Awards - wala lang gusto ko lang na maiba ang tanawin. haha
- That I am still tabachoi which means may kinakain pa ako at di ako masyadong stressed out. O stressed ako kaya ako kumakain??
- That my log records are complete and correct and that I will get health bonus.
- That I had the will to clean the house, wash our doormats and shoe racks, plus disposed all unused and old shoes. Yehey!!
- That I am still able to cook what I want to eat or craving for.
- For the long weekends which gave me more time with my family, the TV and to do chores in the house.
- For my parents considering to get rid of our old stuff yehey!
- For my happy family and friends who are source of strength, laughter and courage.
- For my contact lens which doesnt fogged up when i get off the cold, cold train.
- For my work that sustains our financial needs - both necessities and wants.
- For God my Father, my anchor, my light, my source of love and hope. Help me Lord, lead me to the right path.